The office toilet: where men become men once again and farting at an audible level (often anonymously) returns to the status of a pleasurable competition. All these suits just letting rip - it's hilarious. Especially because I know that the second they leave that room, they have to be a collective paradigm of respectability.
I, on the other hand, abandoned the office persona long ago, though I suspect that I shall have to re-inherit it for my next contract (whenever that may be). Today I am dressed in baggy ripped jeans, white trainers and a Puma t-shirt - I wouldn't even be allowed to work on a shop floor looking like this, let alone a private bank...
Yesterday curiosity and the realisation that I'm not meeting anybody new drove me to sign up to an online dating agency. So this is what I am reduced to. I don't hold much hope for it, and though I was contacted almost immediately as I signed in for the first time after setting up my profile, I'm generally pretty sceptical about these sorts of things. Imagine telling your kid that you met mummy online:
"Yeah, I loved her comical use of the word desperate, and her photos practically told me her legs would be wide open, so I decided to message her. Four years later, out you popped... Any questions?"
Apart from my snobbish tendencies, I think that what I dislike most about online dating is its contrived nature. In fact, I hate anything contrived. I hate feeling that my or anyone else's actions are contrived... So much so that a few years ago I declined preparing a speech in advance of my grandma's 80th birthday celebration on the grounds that at the time it seemed too contrived. My sister did it instead. On reflection, a recent bout of appreciation for my grandmother may well force me to regret that particular decision.
Anyway, I'll let you know if anything comes of this online dating thing, but I'm not holding my breath.
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