My last post was interrupted by a long, intense and cathartic bout of crying - all my fears spilling out, all the angst... It was good to get that out of my system. It needed to be done.
Shortly after, I took part in a Landmark Forum - it was excellent. Any description or attempt at summation of the psychology and philosophy behind Landmark would not do it justice: reading the descriptions and the books is one thing, but to undergo the emotional rollercoaster of a Forum is something quite different.
Immediately after Landmark, I was almost scared by my ability to listen and communicate with people in an unfamiliar and liberated way, and my experiences were no longer plagued by reactionary tendencies, my interpretations of the past or the attributes assigned to my character either by me or the people arround me. I felt, for the first time in a long time, a freedom I had almost forgotten was possible.
I have since then regressed a little into the patterns of behaviour from which I vowed to be free, but I think I can still remember how to free myself, on demand but not yet as a normative mode of existence.
One thing which reminded me of the feeling I got from Landmark was watching Y Tu Mama Tambien just now: there's a decent review of it on PopMatters - I don't fully endorse the conclusion at the end of the first paragraph, but nonetheless...
A few phrases really stuck out:
The hazy beauty of retrospect - [...] truth depends on the storyteller
How we shape the details of living, despite and because of this risk [of dying]. Stories are all that will eventually remain
Never underestimate the urgency of now.
